Happy Dog

Mojo is happy after his walk. And Ozzy wants to photobomb Mojo/rub against the piano.

Ozzy is displeased

Ozzy likes to come cuddle me every night around 10 p.m. He likes to lay on me: on my chest or stomach. And I hope he doesn't knead. I need to invest in thicker clothing—maybe the heavy canvas suits the dog handlers wear because those claws hurt!

Here is is looking rather displeased that I'm taking his picture.

Oz Selfie

Selfie with Oz. He likes to curl up in my lap the same time every night. So I tried to take a picture. He promptly ran off.

King of the Mountain

Ozzy has claimed the top of the tower as his own. Here he is trying to get his eyes to match the paint on the walls.

That or watching birds outside ;)

Avid reader

Ozzy is an avid reader. Here he is reading his latest book on kindle. Such a smart cat.

Or I was reading my kindle in bed, got up, and he stole my spot because it was warm. :) 

Still if Ozzy could read, I think he'd pick books with cats taking over the world. 

Helping with the sheets

Whenever I change the sheets, the cats just have to help me.

I try to wait for a time when they're not in the room, but then they just come in the room and jump on the sheets so  I can't take them off the bed.

Here's Gunnar and Ozzy helping me put new sheets on.

Ozzy doesn't want to move for me to put the sheets on. 

Why are you taking our pictures?

Helping smooth out the wrinkles.

Can't find Ozzy. (This is my favorite picture of the bunch.) Ozzy's fluffy tail and Gunnar ominously looking on.

Gunnar all tucked in.

Helping with the laundry

I was putting some freshly washed towels in the linen closet. I left the door open and this guy decided to make himself at home. He reminded me vaguely of the princess and the pea.

Ozzy being cute

Ozzy is practicing his cute face. In his favorite chair.

"I can has cuddles?"

He likes big butts…..

If there was every any doubt, Ozzy is an ass man.

I was trying to take a nap and he decided to curl up on my butt. He's even gently cradling me.

This is not the first time he's done this. I guess my butt is a good kitty heating pad. It's warm and cushy. I just always wince and hope he doesn't decide to knead me. Those claws hurt.

The end of Kitty Porch Time

No more porch time for the kitties.

Today I took them out there for half an hour. It was a cool 68 degrees. Mojo was watching the wind. Gunnar was gnawing on leaves. And Ozzy was rubbing against the chairs and jumping on the window sill like usual. And I wasn't really paying attention. I was working on my grocery list.

And then I heard a thump, looked to the left and saw Ozzy hanging off the top of the porch railing. He looked like a grey blob of a tree frog splatted against the side of the railings. He'd tried to jump it and was too fat to get more than a foot high. I mean, thank goodness he's overweight or he could have fallen two stories.

I let out out a dreadful "No" and both the cats ran inside. (This guttural scream was low and sounded like the gasp you'd make when someone died. Really. I don't know where it came from and am not sure I've ever made a sound like it before). Mojo had to be ushered in. And that is the official end of kitty porch time. They have never tried that stunt before. And I won't let them try again.

I know Ozzy wants to be a wild cat, but that fall would be awful. At two stories cats can't right themselves. They get really hurt. I guess he misses the outdoors but I don't know what to do. I tried to talk to him and tell him why he couldn't do that, but he took off like a bat of hell, and clambered loudly down the hall like he does when he's angry. (Kitty equivalent of stomping or slamming a door.)

I found Ozzy downstairs cuddling one of my purple Asics and told him to please not try that again. I didn't want him hurt. And he didn't want to have surgery and where the cone of shame. I tried to make it up to him by playing with his green ribbon, but that ended when Gunnar decided to swat my hand instead of the ribbon.

Makeup cuddles with Ozzy after our fight.

Oh, kitties. So terrible.

Matt says they're terribly cute.

Computer help

Ozzy decided I needed some help browsing the web. Or maybe he just wanted to watch more cat videos.

So helpful….

A throne for Oz the Great and Powerful

Oz the Great and Powerful has found himself a throne.  The throne of course has to be able to accommodate his girth, sitting or lying as the case may be.

Well-read kitties

Ozzy and Gunnar were taking turns reading my Kindle. Ozzy's in charge on turning the pages. (And Gunnar lies on any towel I leave lying around.)

 They sure are well read kitties.

Cinderella Cat

Ozzy is obsessed with shoes. He loves to lay on flip flops I leave out. He snuggles my tennis shoes. And here is is trying on my Puma flats.

Sorry, bud, they don't fit.

When he realized that, he just flopped down and snuggled them.

How Ozzy sits in a chair

This is how I found Ozzy sitting in a chair. He looked so uncomfortable (and possibly a little like Jabba the Hut.) I scooted the chair back a little so he'd have more room, but then he wasn't interested. He hopped down and left.

Shoe Fiend

Wherever I put my shoes, Ozzy will curl up with them.

I found him sleeping like this and moved the shoes so he'd have more room and he followed the shoes and was no longer interested in the soft chair. So crazy.

Plotting their next move

Ozzy: Gee Gunnar, what do you want to do tonight?

Gunnar: Tonight we take over the world. 

The boys. I'm not sure I've ever seen cats in a chair look so sinister. So here they are, Ozzy in my office chair (excuse me, his chair) and Gunnar lounging in a lovely puddle of sunshine. They're up to something.

Fort Kit-A

This pink hamper used to be my laundry hamper. It has since been claimed as Fort Gunnar. Then Fort Ozzy. Then Fort Gunnar again.

The hamper is light and collapsible and every time I've left it out over the years Gunnar has claimed it. He likes to jump on it and watch it collapse. Or bat it around. I've even seen him drag it down the hallway. But Fort Hamper-Kit-A is a favorite spot to lurk and swat at anyone who happens by: human ankles or kitty foes.

 None shall pass.

Toes are delicious.

I left it out a week or so ago doing laundry. And the kitties had so much fun with it, I didn't put it up and just let them play with it. So, for days, I feared for my ankles every time I'd skirt by that hamper.

It moved from place to the place. By the wall, closer to the bedroom, and to the top of the stairs. That made me nervous. I was worried about them rolling the hamper down the stairs. Each time it got too close, I'd move it against a far wall. But they'd tussle and move it around again.

One Sunday, there was a huge commotion and the hamper ended up at the bottom of the stairs. I promptly put the hamper up. No kitties were injured but I'm not risking it.

Changing the sheets

The cats always like to help me change the sheets.

1. They never really want to get off the bed. And one of them is always on the bed.

Here Ozzy gets rolled up in the sheets as I try to change them. He didn't want to budge.

2. If I ever get the sheets off the bed, they are on the mattress cover, on the new sheets, just completely in the way. Here's Ozzy clawing at the new sheet as I try to smooth it down.

And Gunnar comes to join in the fun. Let's sit on the new sheets. We don't need no stinkin' blankets.

And that's how we change sheets at this house. Slowly. With much protest. 

Before and After

When we took Ozzy in, he had short sporty fur and weighed a little under 10 pounds. The vet warned us that he was nowhere near growing and was going to be a BIG cat. 

This is what he looked like last summer—a normal sized cat.

This is Ozzy now. He's probably gained 10 pounds in fur. He's a massive cat. He weighs a ton (more than my 15 pound kettle bell, though they are different shapes). I practically throw my back out when I pick him up. And look at that fur. He's quite fluffy now. I guess that's his winter coat? Either way, he's officially a fat cat now. We're worried he's kitty obese. He seems to be thoroughly enjoying being spoiled: regular meal times (eating the other cats' food), sleeping in soft beds, finding the best spot to lounge in etc. The other cats are far more active than him. He just sleeps in one soft spot. So if anyone knows a kitty personal trainer, we might be in the market. 

Update: After I wrote this, Ozzy sprinted a few laps around the house and jumped loudly on a lot of furniture. Apparently, he CAN be an active cat when his mama calls him out.