The end of Kitty Porch Time

No more porch time for the kitties.

Today I took them out there for half an hour. It was a cool 68 degrees. Mojo was watching the wind. Gunnar was gnawing on leaves. And Ozzy was rubbing against the chairs and jumping on the window sill like usual. And I wasn't really paying attention. I was working on my grocery list.

And then I heard a thump, looked to the left and saw Ozzy hanging off the top of the porch railing. He looked like a grey blob of a tree frog splatted against the side of the railings. He'd tried to jump it and was too fat to get more than a foot high. I mean, thank goodness he's overweight or he could have fallen two stories.

I let out out a dreadful "No" and both the cats ran inside. (This guttural scream was low and sounded like the gasp you'd make when someone died. Really. I don't know where it came from and am not sure I've ever made a sound like it before). Mojo had to be ushered in. And that is the official end of kitty porch time. They have never tried that stunt before. And I won't let them try again.

I know Ozzy wants to be a wild cat, but that fall would be awful. At two stories cats can't right themselves. They get really hurt. I guess he misses the outdoors but I don't know what to do. I tried to talk to him and tell him why he couldn't do that, but he took off like a bat of hell, and clambered loudly down the hall like he does when he's angry. (Kitty equivalent of stomping or slamming a door.)

I found Ozzy downstairs cuddling one of my purple Asics and told him to please not try that again. I didn't want him hurt. And he didn't want to have surgery and where the cone of shame. I tried to make it up to him by playing with his green ribbon, but that ended when Gunnar decided to swat my hand instead of the ribbon.

Makeup cuddles with Ozzy after our fight.

Oh, kitties. So terrible.

Matt says they're terribly cute.

Impromptu Early Morning Playdate

Ted

It was 6:40 a.m. and dark out when I went to take Mojo outside. He immediately barked at the guy across the street standing on his porch. I walked Mojo in the other direction, when under a street light I saw a very fluffy dog.

"Is that Ted?" I called out.

Ted, the golden doodle, lives in our neighborhood and his mom and I have decided they need to be besties.

The guy with the fluffy dog did a double take our way, and either waved or said "Oh hi, Mojo." It's early. I'm not sure.

When I take Mojo out in the morning, I don't like to talk to other people. I'm sleepy, usually in my pajamas and am so not a morning person. I will make an except for Ted. He's just so darned cute.

Mojo hauls me across the street to Ted and Andy. Had I known I'd be sprinting, I would have put on tennis shoes instead of flimsy flip-flops. I'm sure I look crazy. The dogs circle each other and we try not to be whipped by the tangling leashes. And I try and walk Mojo in the direction of Ted's house so Andy can get to work.

The dogs are going nuts. Ted's trying to jump on Mojo, who's running around like a crazy dog. I let them play/walk for about two minutes and then we head back. Mojo was very happy.

So thanks Ted and Andy! I hope this was a fun way to start the dog's day.

Dog party

We had an impromptu dog party today. Mojo and Ted wanted to play and I asked our neighbor (who has a fenced in backyard) if we could just make it a dog party.

This is how it went down.

Teddy, Tonka and Mojo sniff each other.

Tonka (white) and Mojo play with a frisbee. 

The dogs were a little slow to warm up. They were sniffing each other but not playing like the crazy dogs we know they are. We tried throwing balls and frisbees and eventually they were crazy dogs.

Ted fearlessly defended his mountain (i.e. chaise)

Tonka showed off his fierce water-catching skills.

We tried to show Mojo how to use a doggie door. Maybe next time?

And then it was time to go. Mojo was a very happy dog.

How Ozzy sits in a chair

This is how I found Ozzy sitting in a chair. He looked so uncomfortable (and possibly a little like Jabba the Hut.) I scooted the chair back a little so he'd have more room, but then he wasn't interested. He hopped down and left.

Guard duty

Gunnar has tasked himself with keeping my sweaters safe. He really likes these shelves. He likes to sit on my sweaters and watch me work on my computer.

He also likes to jump on top of these shelves and keep an eye out from this angle. It always makes me nervous. One night, I was on the phone with my sister and he hopped in one of those shopping bags and started to shift his weight forward. I ran and got the shopping bag down before he fell. Crazy cat.

Not so Fearless

Gunnar in his box.

I was quite convinced that Gunnar the Terrible had no fears. Nothing fazed this cat.

Until he heard Gilbert Gottfried's voice coming out of the TV. He ran away in utter.

Completely shaken up, he later took refuge in the dryer.

No kitties in the dryer!

How to Fight Crazy

Last night Gunnar was trying to eat some huge gnarl of string that he found on the floor. I lunged over and yanked it out of his mouth. 

Matt thought I was too rough and scared the cat. 

This morning Gunnar was trying to eat some plastic and Matt tried sweetly to get Gunnar to stop eating it. Crazy cat swallowed it. 

I told Matt that there's no point in trying to reason with a crazy cat.

Thee only way to fight crazy is with more crazy.

Eight-legged playdate

I was working at home the other day. It's always interesting to see what the pets do during the day. Gunnar seems to play a lot. He's very kitten-like, though I was marveling at his pouncing earlier, only to take a look at what he was playing with—MASSIVE WOLF SPIDER. About gave me a heart attack. He chased the thing under the couch, which I moved.....didn't find the spider, but found a piece of glass from a glass my other cat knocked off the coffee table a few weeks ago. Sigh. 

The spider did die later when it came out from under the couch. I felt a little bad but I hate spiders. 

What do the other pets do? Mojo sleeps. Katie hides. Mojo did run up and down the stairs a few times when he realized I was staying home. What does the cat normally do when I'm at work? How many of his lives has he gone through?

Kitty in a hatbox

I was cleaning up the other day and found some hatboxes. I stacked them three tall in the hallway while I finished up.

Determined to play "Do-I-Fit" Gunnar got on the balcony on the stairs and jumped down in the top hatbox. I thought that was pretty inventive.

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was Matt's birthday, so what did he get for his birthday?

Here's a hint:

Figure it out? Ok. Here's another hint.

Doing his best Maru impression.

Did you figure it out?

Gunnar wasn't Matt's present but he sure had fun with the gift bag.

New toy

I love hoodies, but they are inherently dangerous to wear around cats. Here, Gunnar decides to attack the drawstring on the hoodie I'm wearing.

Lost and Found

I couldn't find the remote anywhere so I asked Gunnar where it was. Hmm.....

Guess he wanted to watch a movie.

Best Christmas Present Ever

Gunnar is getting some good use out of that box he got for Christmas. Apparently it's just the right size for hiding, playing with, swatting at dogs from.

Oh, Gunnar

What you looking at?

Gunnar is trying his darnedest to get on Santa's Naughty List. Just today (before 10:30 a.m.!)  he:

• woke us up by fighting REPEATEDLY with the humidifier at 6 a.m.
• knocked a Christmas tree off the mantle
• started a fight with Katie
• decided to use his litter box right after I cleaned it
• tore up the wrapping on Matt's dad's gift
• found the wrapping paper and decided all the gift tissue he could find needed shredding
• took a break and decided to sit in a window. Jumped up to the window sill and missed. Hung there for a few seconds (I laughed), fell down and knocked a few things over
• decided to tear up my brother's gift
• At which point I kicked him out of the room with the gifts and brought him to his dad for punishment cuddles. He went to pout over by his food.

Seriously, cat?

Early Christmas Present

I got Gunnar one of his favorite things for Christmas: A box!

Big guy had tons of fun hopping into and out of this box. He'd hide in it and then pop out like a Jack-in-the-box. 

Box for me? Whatever will I do with it?

Because kitty likes to read.

Hiding in a box. You can't see me.

Mojo's Grandparents' House

Mojo loves to go to his grandparents' house. LOVES. 

The first thing he does when he gets there is run to their dog Sophie's room and eat her food. By then we run after him and try to catch him. He then runs a reckless lap around the house. He bounds up the stairs and we run after him and close doors so he doesn't go in any of the rooms. We catch him and take him to the back yard where there is more running amok. 

One of Mojo's top-speed laps around the house.

When he's tired he comes back inside, and finishes off any of Sophie's food he didn't get the first time. After drinking all of Sophie's water he then takes a nap. 

Ok, so someone takes a nap. Not necessarily Mojo.

When Mojo wakes up, he tries to bites the ears off Sophie's toys. 

I have sewn the ear back on this dog several times. Eventually I think it got eaten because the toy has two half ears. But I don't have to practice sutures on it anymore.

By then someone is snacking and Mojo shamelessly begs for food. He gets a lot of table scraps. It's one of the perks of visiting.

Another perk is that there are no baby gates. At our house we use baby gates to confine him to one part of the house. So he can't run up and down the stairs like a mad man (dog?). Seriously, the stairs are his personal Autobahn. So of course he runs up and down the stairs at their house. He likes going upstairs and looking down on the living room. He smiles so big when he does that.

He loves the backyard. We don't have one, but wish we did. He sprints at top speed around it. He sniffs the plant life and always begs for meat if his granddad is out there grilling. 

Being a shepherd, he loves having a flock to tend to. If we're not all in the same room, he'll alternate between hanging out with us and herding the stray back towards everyone else. If someone is in the office, he'll go glance in the door every few minutes. If someone is in the kitchen cooking, he's likely there. Ready and able to eat anything that might fall on the floor.

Mojo's extended family. Grandparents, great-parents, an uncle, aunt and cousin. Shot from the second floor overlook that Mojo likes so much.

And when it's time to go, Mojo gets that sad puppy look on his face. He slouches, almost cowers in the sad position he takes. Sometimes he backs away or tries to go up the stairs. He won't let us put his leash on him. He doesn't want to go. It's like he's saying: "Seriously guys, I'm just going to stay here."

This goes on for several minutes. He really likes it there. But he can't stay. If he stayed, we couldn't come home to him at lunch and he wouldn't have his cat. (How many dogs have their own cats?) Eventually we have to take him back to our townhouse, without a yard and without a fancy second-floor overlook. Poor Mojo. 

How rude

Me: Mojo, can I have a kiss? ::leans in::

Mojo: BURP!

Thanks, buddy.

Mad Ninja Skills

 Gunnar has mad ninja skills. This isn't the best video, but I have no idea what he's doing. It's like a sideways flip across the floor. 

Editing help

Gunnar is an extremely helpful cat. This video shows him helping me edit. He's especially handy with a red pen.

A Morning with Gunnar

It's not even 8:30 and so far this morning Gunnar has:

1) Decided that the power cord for my Mac laptop is the best toy ever. No. Please don't bite it. 

2) Tried (once again) to eat the dog's food.

3) Broken his litterbox.

4) Pooped in front of me.

5) Birdwatched at the front door.

If nothing else, he is certainly keeps things interesting.